So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
