In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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