next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
