This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
