I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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