We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
