Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
