he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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