Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
