The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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