I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
