grandma shit on top of the toilet
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
