I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
