my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
