should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
