Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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