Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize