Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
