I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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