did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
