My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
