shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
