Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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