I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
