Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
