I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize