i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
