dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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