I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
