he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
