So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
