My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
