I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuuuuuck dude, heβs got #Excel in his Facebook bio; Iβm screaming
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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