U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
