I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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