You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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