don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
