Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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