Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
