well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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