Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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