Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
