I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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