im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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