I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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