Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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