Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
