It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
