Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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