Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
