is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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