so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
