my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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