did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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