I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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