I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize