Me too!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
