my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize