Ambien. No doubt about it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
