why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
