did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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