Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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