you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
